Mia Doreen George

Professor Meaks

ENGL 21001-R

CCNY: S-209

3/17/26

Introduction: I wouldn’t change anything about this piece for my portfolio. I approached it with careful consideration for the points I decided to write about pertaining to the story I chose for the written exam. I wrote it with intention. In the future, I’d like to maybe organize my notes on my laptop better to make the writing process during the exam a bit more efficient.

                                             Does The Ring Migrate Into The Skin?: 

Marriage can be a scary ordeal when it was always meant to be a business arrangement. Over the years marriage has been drawn on with the red paint of love, adoration, mutual affection, and a desirable future for the couple. However, many often forget that this fairytale had a gruesome past like most fairytales. Blood of generations tainted the canvas before any paint came into play. Abuse can be many things, and it can reach far deeper than the physical marring of it. It can also be in the form of severe neglect, and objectification. 

Marriage can be quickly corroded when one partner neglects their counterpart. 

This is shown in the short story ‘The Husband Stitch’ by Carmen Machado. In the short story ‘The Husband Stitch’ we see the unnamed main character struggle against her husband to maintain her individuality physically and mentally. Their relationship begins good when it surrounds sex and contains the fervor of newness. 

However, over the course of their relationship the woman is slowly contorted into, not a woman, but a wife. This entails, according to her husband, that she must essentially be structured for him in every way. The woman has a green ribbon around her throat that he isn’t allowed to touch. She doesn’t fully know the mysteries of the ribbon herself, but she just knows that it is something that is completely hers, and something she must keep that way. Throughout their time together though, the husband is persistent in trying to take it off. Especially during moments where she was vulnerable, like times of intimacy–an activity they both enjoyed up until the husband made the act of sex feel unsafe. In sneakily trying to furtively remove the ribbon in the heat of these moments, it creates a space where she does not feel fully comfortable letting herself be consumed by that intimacy. This further makes sex more about him than her, creating a notable imbalance.

Machado consistently uses repetition to showcase the woman’s woes. One example would be the woman consistently mentioning, to the audience, that the husband is a good man. In doing this it comes across less as a sturdy fact, but more as a self convincing ritual she does to try to ignore his negligent shortcomings. This was something incited into her parents, as they believed he’d be a good man. Perhaps from not wanting to disappoint them, or dealing with facing a very difficult and different reality – she allows herself to push herself into believing he’s a good man. 

“I feel like I know so many parts of you,” he says to me, knuckle-

deep and trying not to pant. “And now, I will know all of them.” he says soon after asking her to marry him. This suggests he wanted the marriage to further feel entitled to all her truths. Even the unharmful ones she keeps to maintain her individuality.

The husband also, against the woman’s will, gives her a ‘husband stitch’ after she delivers their child. A husband stitch is an extra vaginal suture that is not meant to assist the victim in any way, but rather to make their male partners derive more sexual pleasure from them.

 ““How much to get that extra stitch?” he asks. “You offer that, right?” “Please,” I say to him. But it comes out slurred and twisted and possibly no more than a small moan. Neither man turns his head toward me.”

This not only furthers the idea that the husband is essentially taking his wife’s autonomy away bit by bit during her vulnerable moments, and manufacturing this human being into a disposable tool for himself. He does not engage with her interests throughout the story, nor does he interact with her individuality in any thoughtful way. He somehow fashions most of their interactions to be about himself. His interest in the ribbon, him feeling better during sex, and finally, his fantasies. 

The wife is shown longing for the intimacy of being understood, and seen for her personhood rather than what she can provide. When she feeds into herself by participating in an art class, she finds herself wanting to explore deeper connection with another woman who also has a ribbon on her person. When she tells her husband out of shame, he begins fantasizing about his wife performing for him with another woman before him, and has sex with her with this fantasy in mind – completely bulldozing over her feelings, or the core of the conversation. She also takes the art class from herself, using her blind devotion to her husband as the weapon of choice.

This is a commentary of women often find themselves being manipulated by patriarchal societies into serving others so much that they begin taking from, and unraveling, themselves as well to make more room for others to take up space inside of them. In the end a lot of women forget their passions, purposefully ignore them, or lose their individuality at the request of those they are sustaining. They’re led by objectifiers to take part in objectifying themselves in this way. It’s also a commentary on how loneliness in a relationship can make someone desire so much to be seen, that they begin feeling attached to those who they think can give it to them. This can put that person in another unhealthy relationship where they’re taken advantage of.

Marriage is important to the theme of this story because, within this cautionary tale, it is a union that surrounds the imbalance between taking and giving. The theme is ownership. The woman gradually loses ownership of herself in favor of pleasing her husband. Her husband is engrossed in the idea of owning her, even the parts of her that are meant to be just hers. 

This seeps into her child as well. Her son, who was once a bubbly baby that saw the ribbon, and the parts of her that were solely hers, as a part of her, grew to believe he, like his father, had a right to cross the boundary of trying to take herself from her. The boy was a child when he tried to remove the ribbon, but this is a reflection of how patriarchal standards can impede on the youth and change their outlook in negative ways. This made the woman feel like she lost a part of herself further, as her relationship with her child never felt the same again to her. She had to place down a non-negotiable boundary on the ribbon with him, making her feel bad for protecting that sacred part of herself. The part of her that no one but her owns, nor has a right to. 

In fear, she shakes pennies, scaring the child away from the ribbon. This was an erratic decision processed and made by nothing but immediate emotion. Possibly, if done gentler, and explained properly to the child– their relationship wouldn’t have tilted so much. However, this too reflects on the husband, as over time she had to grow harsher with how she said ‘no’ to him in regards to him wanting to remove the ribbon, as he wouldn’t listen to gentleness. She possibly forgot or neglected the gentler way believing it was useless in getting the message across. Therefore, eroding the gentleness in her that she once had by putting her in a corner of conditioning – making her believe, over time, that her boundaries were things she had to erratically protect, lest they be violated. Another thing that was all hers – gone. Even the gentle reminder of boundaries being made an anxiety inducing thread she must walk on with everyone.  

The character is impacted continuously by her union to her husband, as she gives absolutely everything to him, with not much in return. This builds fear, loneliness, resentment, anxiety, and mistrust in her when, even in hard moments, a marriage should always be an area of safety. 

“It is like him to not understand what there is to be afraid of in this world,” she says pertaining to her husband.

Overall, the narrative and account of this woman is a narrative for many that have preceded and come after her. The narrative of being shaved down into a stump after years of pouring into others and not being poured into. In the end, the woman gives the last thing she can to her husband, the secret behind the ribbon. He unties it and her head falls quickly after–her death surely following. She is so drained that her tone illustrates her exhaustive nature for if a wound is even left behind on her neck stump. “If you are reading this story out loud, you may be wondering if that place my ribbon protected was wet with blood and openings, or smooth and neutered like the nexus between the legs of a doll. I’m afraid I can’t tell you, because I don’t know. For these questions and others, and their lack of resolution, I am sorry.” she says. Again, apologizing for not being enough.

The idea of partnership is prevalent in aiding the piece ‘Her Body & Other Parties’ as a whole because it focuses on the woman’s perspective that is often ignored in society, along with demonstrating the complex nuance often overlooked in curating a relationship in general. As hard as it may be to see or come to terms with; people often forget the person under the title of wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other. When that piece is forgotten, it leaves the relationship to turn into a void where loneliness and abuse can run rampant. It all essentially begs the question of: In what situations do you find yourself losing and gaining yourself in? Do they have any commonalities? Is the commonality a person in your life?

“I feel as lonely as I have ever been.” the woman ends.

• Mia Doreen George